Cheers Bitch

Life Changes > It was one-hundred days as of yesterday. You may ask why I am choosing to write this piece today, Day 101. And honestly, I was surprisingly underwhelmed by my "achievement". The overall feeling was a lot less exciting than what I expected when I was writing at just 50 days. The thought of hitting 100 seemed like something in the distant future that would be filled with feelings of elation and accomplishment. Instead I felt like I had made it through a measly 100 days. 14.2 weeks. 3.3 months. 

Continuing similarly throughout these last 50 days as the first, there is an almost palpable emotional and mental clarity that comes along with not drinking. I believe that if I asked anyone I knew to stop drinking for this amount of time, the emotions and situations they would face everyday with an absolute clear mind would take a heavier toll on them than they expect.

The biggest difference from my first 50 days to my second is that the excitement and drive to continue this change has turned into a state of reflection and personal goal making. That moment is going to come when you realize the tremendous amount of projects and to-do's you are getting done. The physical achievements you and your body are going through. And there is definitely going to come a point where you look back and think "WTF was I doing with all my time?". Then you are going to remember all the idiotic, hurtful, dishonest, and embarrassing things you did with your time. I have hit those moments of reflection and they have brought me to tears on several occasions. In the more extreme cases I have gone back and made apologies, and in others, I use my time now to make up for the past. 

Don't get me wrong, I am proud of myself. I am proud I have been able to restrain from drinking no matter how difficult the situation. I have made it through St. Patty's day, multiple birthdays including my own and even a trip to Vegas. (Not recommended). But more so I see all the things I should have been doing a long time ago. Instead of reflecting on what a great achievement not drinking for 100 days is, I see more clearly the things I have to do with my days, my time and my life now. I see where I should have been years ago and I am thankful for where I am at this very moment.

PSHH... 100 days? Let's go for two.